Relationship styles and counselling

Relationship Counselling

Rainbow Therapists recognise people are unique in building their communities and construct relationship frameworks of all kinds: friends with benefits, married and dating, polyfidelity with occasional swinging – the varieties are endless.

Rainbow Therapists recognise, respect, and value both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships.

We understand that, whatever the framework, healthy relationships are honest, dialogical, and boundaried; because trust, sharing, and feeling safe matters, regardless of gender or sexuality.

We also appreciate that fulfilling and supportive relationships don’t come automatically; they require good social skills, time, and energy to stay strong.

When meaningful connections break down people experience a range of difficult emotions and may find their decision making greatly impaired. Rainbow Therapists work with individuals and partners respectfully – exploring needs, enabling dialogue, and providing counselling support to help people get to a more comfortable place of being, whether together or separately.

We do not claim to have all the answers – we strive to help you find your own.

 

Ethical Non Monogamy

Ethical non-monogamy is about having multiple relationships that are both consensual and negotiated.

1) Polyamory (loving many) Polyamorous bonds are diverse; comprising commitments of caring and sharing time, they may be sexually flexible (accommodating both sexually active and non-sexually active partners)

A Poly Network may comprise a shared household or a network of polycules (i.e. smaller groups interconnected by some shared links)

2) Swinging (sex play with multiple partners) Some swingers are in committed relationships and go to swing parties together, some have committed partnerships but play separately, and some are solo swingers.

All relationships are negotiated and consensual.

3) Polyfidelity – describes a closed set of relationships comprising more than a couple (for example a vee, a triad, a quad or more)

People practicing polyfidelity are sexually exclusive with the people in their relationship system or polycule.

 

4) Primary Relationships and Secondary Relationships –  Some poly frameworks have a central (primary) relationship, with satellite (secondary) relationships around it; such systems may have more than one Primary, and multiple Secondaries.

The system is hierarchical with Primary partners having more power; conversely some secondary partners enjoy more freedom and less responsibility.

6) Open Marriage – comprises having an agreed flexibility in a marriage, allowing each spouse to engage in sexual encounters and/or romantic relationships with others.

Some open marriages lean toward poly (having emotional bonds with lovers), others lean toward swinging (having more sexual encounters0 and some sustain both,

 

 

Counselling for Trans-identified and Trans-historied Clients

Current heterocentric culture is based on a binary model of sex and gender; simply put this divides human beings into male and female bodied, assumes gender matches this biological binary and regards the heterosexual family as the keystone of society. We appreciate that this is not always the case.
We appreciate that gender identities and experiences contradicting the binary model have been socially stigmatised through being historically designated immoral, illegal, or abnormal; and we are part of the process of changing that.
As Rainbow Therapists In Scotland, we recognise and respect all trans-identities as fundamental aspects of a person, not flaws or disorders.
We strive to provide safe, confidential spaces for people who experience their gender within or outwith the binary; offering respect to male, female, and other gendered clients with equanimity.
We appreciate that gender diversity may or may not be the issue that you wish to bring to counselling, and will work with you on what matters to you.
Should you wish to work on issues around trans-identity we will support the development of your own narrative, if you wish to work on wider life issues (relationship issues, work-related stress, bereavement etc.) we will support you in those; we do not make identity an issue when it is not.
Whether or not your struggles are connected to trans-identity or trans-history our counselling support can help you to find your own solutions, whatever your struggles; to develop inner strength and resilience; to become more grounded as a whole person; and to work toward leading a more comfortable life.

Trans Support Links

Beyond Gender
Tuesday evenings from 7–9pm
Group for transgender, non-binary & intersex people and their friends aged 13–25 in Edinburgh. Contact: beyondgender@lgbtyouth.org.uk or visit http://www.beyondgenderyouth.org/

Central Scotland Transgender Group
2nd Saturday of each month
The Central Scotland Transgender Group can be contacted by emailing Sarah at sarah_m_whyte@yahoo.co.uk

Edinburgh Trans Women
1st Saturday of each month 7.30-9.30pm                                                                         at LGBT Health and Wellbeing, 9 Howe Street, Edinburgh, EH6 3TE.
Support group aimed at transsexual women at any stage of transition, women who are transgender and live as women full-time or part-time or for those who are questioning their gender identity. Group contact: info@edinburghtranswomen.org.uk

Grampian T folk
Aberdeen last Wednesday of the month from 6-9pm and last Saturday of the month all-day drop-in
A support group for all under the trans umbrella.
Contact by phone: 01224 543695 or email: Grampian.tfolk@gmail.com

Non-Binary Scotland
Non-Binary Scotland is a group which provides support and social opportunities for people who either self-identify as out with the gender binary of men and women or are questioning whether they might.
You can contact Non-Binary Scotland by emailing: nonbinaryscotland@gmail.com
Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/groups/nonbinaryscotland/

Me & T Monthly
4th Sunday of each month 2-4pm                                                                                     at LGBT Health and Wellbeing, 9 Howe Street, Edinburgh, EH3 6TE
This is a supportive space for people who have friends, family or partners who are transgender or exploring their gender, and provides an opportunity to meet other people who may have similar experiences, questions or concerns.
Group contact: me.and.t.scotland@gmail.com.  Also, read more about the group here –meandtscotland.wordpress.com

Our Tribe
Last Saturday of each month, start at 7pm – Please feel free to arrive from   6.30/45pm                                                                                                             Augustine United Church, 41 George IV Bridge, Edinburgh, EH1 1EL.
OUR TRIBE is the LGBT welcoming and affirming Christian ministry at Augustine United Church, Edinburgh. It is a joint ministry with the worldwide denomination of Metropolitan Community Churches.  All are welcome – friends, family and allies.If you would like further information contact Rev Maxwell Reay ourtribe.auc@gmail.com or call 07957 543359

Perth TG Group
1st Saturday of each month
There is a Facebook page for this Group. On Facebook just search: Perth TG Group. For further information regarding meetings in the Perth area, please email Katherine at:katherineburrows485@gmail.com

Sandyford Transwomen Support Group
1st Wednesday of each month from 6.00pm to 7.45pm and 3rd Saturday of each month from Noon to 2.00pm (Not within Sandyford)
A peer support group for transwomen who reside in Glasgow and the West of Scotland and beyond. Although we are affiliated to Sandyford and hold our Wednesday meetings there, we are a separate entity.E-mail: sandyfordtranswomen@yahoo.co.uk
Additional group contact: Colin Mackillop – Community Access Coordinator by phone: 0141 211 8416 or by email contact: colin.mackillop@nhs.net

Stirling LGBT Group
Out-here Group is new to Forth Valley and was set up to support adults from the LGBT community to come together.  It is a social & support group where the members can arrange their own social evenings as well as being able to meet and talk about day to day issues.  The group is facilitated by Terrence Higgins Trust (Scotland) staff and a trans volunteer and is promoted in the Forth Valley area.
For more information please contact Michael Harkin, Health Promotion Specialist – Forth Valley on 0141 332 3838 ormichael.harkin@tht.org.uk

Swans of Scotland
Self-supporting help group for all Trans folk in the North of Scotland. Find out more and come along and have a chat, ask questions, be yourself.
Contact: www.spanglefish.com/swansofscotland

T Time Edinburgh
3rd Saturday of each month, 1-4pm, 9 Howe Street, Edinburgh, EH3 6TE
An informal monthly social gathering open to all transgender people, their friends, families and supporters. Come along for tea/coffee and a chat in a friendly, relaxed environment.
Contact jules@lgbthealth.org.uk for more information

T Time Glasgow
1st Saturday of each month, 1-4pm, 12 Queen’s Crescent, G4 9AS
An informal social gathering open to all transgender people and supporters. All ages welcome. Come along for tea/coffee and a chat plus an optional event or activity in a friendly, relaxed environment. First event of each quarter is family-friendly. Contact lynda@lgbthealth.org.uk for more information.

TG Times
Dumfries
This is an adult social group that welcomes any person who is adult and identifies as Transgender, including those who are questioning their identity or are cross-dressing.  Please note that partners and supporters of Trans people are now welcome at the groups.
For more info contact D&G LGBT Centre on 01387 255 058.
For information on time and venue please contact the D&G LGBT Centre on 01387 255 058 or email dandg@lgbtyouth.org.uk
Also to keep up to date on what’s happening at the D&G LGBT centre checkout our websitewww.lgbtcentredg.co.uk or add us on Facebook: Dumfries LGBT Centre.

TransparenTsees – group for parents of trans people
1st Thursday of the month, 6-8pm                                                                             2nd Floor at Sandyford, 2-6 Sandyford Place, Glasgow G3 7NB
The aim of the group, which has been set up by parents, is to provide a confidential, safe place for parents to meet, discuss issues and ask questions of one another. You may just have found out that your child, whether young or grown-up, is trans*, or you may still be grappling with the issues after many years of knowing – the group is for all parents.
Please contact: TransparenTsees@gmail.comfor more details.

Trans Men Scotland
Contact: transmenscotland@gmail.com  for more information or visit http://transmenscotland.wordpress.com/ or tweet @transmenscot

Trans Youth D&G
A youth group for young people 12-26 who identify under the Transgender umbrella and their supportive friends meets monthly.
Contact julieann.karayilan@lgbtyouth.org.uk for more information

LGBT Youth Scotland in Glasgow.
TYG: Trans* Youth Glasgow is a group for young people aged 13 – 26 who identify as transgender or want to explore their gender identity.  The group aims to support and empower young people as they take part in workshops on transgender issues, sharing their own knowledge, skills and experience, learning from each other and making new friends.  For more info contact Michael Richardson at Michael.Richardson@lgbtyouth.org.uk

A Perspective of Therapy

Counselling support is about care, not categorisation.

The ability to appreciate differences between people, to commit to equality of opportunity, and to avoid discrimination against people or groups contrary to their legitimate personal or social circumstances, is central to ethical and professional practice (BACP 2010, Ethical Framework BACP 2016, Ethical Framework).

Rainbow Therapists recognise that the diversity of human gender and sexualities is compatible with good mental health and social adjustment. We respect autonomy and are dedicated to social diversity, equality and inclusivity without discrimination of any kind.

Rainbow Therapists offer you a safe, confidential place to talk about your self and your life, so you can safely explore anything that may be confusing, painful or uncomfortable.

We offer diverse professional approaches, all of which provide the opportunity for you to talk with someone who is trained to listen attentively and will work with you to  help you find the inner strength and resilience to  improve things, where they can be improved, and to hold them more comfortably in awareness where they cannot.